SKYFALL (2012) dir. Sam Mendes

In the 216th installment of the James Bond franchise we find ourselves dealing with a tired and over the hill, Bond. Our hero is not in good shape and he just goes around all day struggling to do stuff like an old woman who has loads of those Good Grips products to open cans and that.

So Jimmy returns from the dead to fight this weird Spanish (?) lad who fancies him a bit - there's basically a scene where they kiss. M says 'bloody' loads, but she never loses faith in Bond cause maybe she fancies him as well. Most people seem to.

Set-piece, explosion, set-piece, bird, explosion, one-liner, set-piece, innuendo, explosion...you know the drill.

SCOTLAND! In a throw back to ancient times and no gadgets Bond takes on El Camposs on 'home soil'...so that's two Scottish Bond's then? 

Och am off teh Scotlandy to have a wee fight wiv a Spuniard laddy boy!!!!!!....is what he would sound like if he were actually Scottish.

In a bizarre twist we are introduced to 'Kincade', some old lad who has been looking after Bond's old family home for the past 30 years with not so much as a postcard - he hasn't seen James since he was a kid...this is all very weird.

It's like in The Robin Hood film with Costner in it where he gets home and that blind lad who had his eyes taken out by the Sheriff of Birmingham is complaining about how Robin's dad got killed...anyway Kincade is far from intelligent and fails to appreciate that on a dark moorland night a torch might as well be a fireworks display! Idiot.

7/10